Anything you can do
by PSI-Triforce
Summary: When Samus tells Zelda that Link outdoes her at anything, Zelda goes hunting for anything that she can do better. However, she soon discovers that this is harder than it seems... ZeLink oneshot.


It was another average day at Smash Mansion as Zelda was heading down to the dining hall for breakfast. There, she met her two best friends, Samus and Peach. Peach was the more relaxed girl, while Samus was the more uptight one, but the best fighter out of the three.

"Hey Zelda, what's up?" asked Peach as Zelda sat down and took a slice of toast.

"Oh, nothing much," replied Zelda through a mouthful of toast, causing Samus to groan and lean back while Zelda accidentally sprayed crumbs everywhere.

"So, what do you want to do today?" asked Peach.

Zelda thought for a moment and replied "Probably hang out with Link again."

Samus gave a long sigh and responded, "Geez Zelda, that's all you two have been doing since you started dating!"

Zelda thought longer and replied, "Actually, I'll spend some time with you two today, because I need to ask your opinions on something."

Samus and Peach started listening, so Zelda asked her question.

"In a week, it's mine and Link's 'six month anniversary', and I know it's lame, but we're getting each other presents for it. What do you think I should get him?"

Samus let out a loud sigh, and retorted, "Does it even matter? He'll always outdo you anyway, like he always does."

Zelda was offended, and said back, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Peach nudged Samus in an attempt to get her to change the subject, but it didn't work.

"Well, he always gets you better gifts, he wins more brawls… he always outdoes you. Didn't you realise that already?"

Samus didn't seem to realise that she was offending Zelda, but it was too late to stop it.

"I can be better than Link at plenty of things! This afternoon, me and him are in a match against Fox and Falco, you can just see whose better then!"

Before Samus could respond, Zelda stormed off to train, leaving Peach to scowl at Samus.

"I hope you're happy, you've got her really worked up!"

"Relax Peach, what's the worst that could happen?"

...

It was after Link and Zelda's battle against Fox and Falco, and Samus was proving her point to Zelda when she was teleported from the battlefield back to Peach and Samus.

"Ok Zelda, so which one of you did the most damage?"

"…Link…"

"Which one of you knocked out both the opponents?"

"…Link…"

"Which one of you won the match despite having their teammate knocked out in the first few seconds?"

"…Link…"

"And which one of you got knocked out two seconds in by a wandering bob-omb?"

"…Me…"

"Exactly!"

Samus looked proud, but Zelda was quick to counter her argument.

"Yeah well, just because I'm not as good as Link at fighting doesn't mean I'm not better than him at other things!"

Zelda stormed off into the garden, but she returned in a few minutes to invite Peach, Samus and Link outside to show them something. When they all arrived outside, Zelda said,

"I've been practising tennis, but it's no fun on my own. Will you play a game with me, Link?"

"Uh… sure!" Link agreed.

As Zelda went to fetch a racket for Link, she gave a smirk at Samus.

Ten minutes later…

A small crowd had gathered to watch Link, who had never played tennis, beating Zelda without even trying that hard. As Link made another perfect shot which Zelda couldn't get to in time, the crowd cheered, and Zelda even heard Lucas piping up, "Wow Link, you're a natural at this!"

As the game finished with Link having never lost a single point, he walked up to Zelda and shook her hand, unaware that his winning was annoying her.

"Wow, thanks for introducing me to tennis. I had no idea I was good at it! Anyway, good game!"

Link turned to walk away, but heard Zelda replying with a strange suggestion.

"Want to bake cakes?"

Ten minutes later…

Zelda gave a small laugh as she started preparing her cake mixture, while Link still didn't even know what to do, and was relying on Zelda for help.

"So, how much of this do I put in?"

"Oh, that's the flour, you have to put in about 150 grams. Here, I'll do it!"

Zelda walked over to Link and poured a random amount into his bowl with a smile, which Link was suspicious about, as Zelda had spent the last five minutes weighing and re-weighing her ingredients to perfection, but appeared to pour flour into his bowl without much care. Then again, he remembered that Zelda knew more about cooking than him, and trusted her judgement. Stirring his mixture slowly, he was oblivious to the fact that Zelda was trying to ruin his cake.

As Zelda gently put her ingredients into a huge bowl, she considered if she was being a bit mean to Link. After all, he trusted her, and she was misguiding him into creating an absolute mess. She soon felt a pang of guilt, but convinced herself that the sooner this was over, the sooner her and Link could go back to normal, so she went back to perfecting her cake.

As both of the mixtures were finished and put into the oven, Zelda had another idea.

"Hey Link, let's see who can do the washing up fastest!"

Link didn't even have time to agree before Zelda ran to her sink and started furiously scrubbing dishes. However, her efforts were fruitless when she accidentally broke one of the mixing bowls, and by the time she finished gathering the pieces of glass, Link had finished cleaning. Link even offered to help Zelda with her washing, but he only heard her muttering, "Don't rub it in…"

As soon as the cakes came out of the oven, Zelda rushed her's to a cooling rack, while Link didn't even know how to use the oven-gloves. Eventually getting his cake out of the oven, Link slowly placed it on the side, while Zelda started to decorate her's. Link didn't have any decorations, so instead he just carved a picture of the Triforce onto it's surface with a knife and looked proudly at it. When he looked back at Zelda's, she was covering it with icing and using marzipan letters to spell 'Zelda' on it. As soon as Zelda had finished, she gave an excited little squeak and immediately called everyone into the kitchen to sample their products.

"Everyone," she began, "Me and Link made cakes, and we'd love for you to try them!"

Zelda gave her first small slice of cake to Link, who took one bite and smiled, responding, "Mmmm, this is delicious!"

Zelda took more slices of it and handed them round to everyone, and soon, everyone had tasted her cake, and they all agreed that it tasted pretty good.

Soon, everyone wanted to try Link's cake, so he nervously took a small slice and handed it to Mario. Mario bit into it, then fell deathly silent. For a second, Zelda thought Link might have accidentally poisoned him, before Mario spoke up, eerily quiet,

"This… is the greatest cake… in the history of cake!"

Quickly stuffing the rest of his slice into his mouth, Mario sighed contently as he sat down, savouring every moment that the cake was on his taste buds.

"Let me try some!"

"More over here!"

"Save some for me!"

Soon, everyone was crowded around Link's cake, desperately trying to grab a slice, while Zelda's cake went ignored.

"Wait a second, I'll tell you if it's really good!" said a burly voice as Ganondorf made his way over to Link. Ever since Ganondorf came to Smash Mansion, Link and him had never spoken or discussed anything. Now, Ganondorf rudely took a handful of Link's cake and stuffed it into his mouth for a few seconds, before chewing it. His face went blank and his eyes went wide, as he muttered,

"Link, I promise… I will never trouble Hyrule again… if you give me the recipe… for this cake."

Link was flattered that everyone loved his cake, but tried to shift some of the glory to his girlfriend.

"Well, Zelda helped me a lot. I used the same recipe as her."

Ganondorf looked back from Link to Zelda, before asking, "But if you used the same recipe, how come your cake tastes so much better than her cake?"

Zelda, who had been silently fuming for a few minutes, put on a fake sweet smile and walked over to Link.

"I say Link, could I try some of that- Whoops!" said Zelda as she pretended to slip and 'accidentally' pushed Link's cake onto the floor. Everyone gave a loud moan, but Link was desperate for more people to appreciate Zelda's work.

"Don't worry everyone, there's still a lot of Zelda's cake left!"

Everyone shrugged, while Ganondorf bluntly said, "Yeah, but eating your cake and then Zelda's is like eating a good meal and then eating horse cr-"

Ganondorf saw the look on Zelda's face and decided to leave, as did everyone else when they saw how angry she looked.

"Well," Zelda muttered to herself, "If there isn't something I'm best at, I'll make something up!"

12 hours later…

It was 8 in the morning, and most of the Smashers had just woken up, as they made their way down to the kitchen, only to find Zelda still there.

"Oh, hey everyone," she whispered, eerily calm, "I made up a new game! Do you all want to try it?"

Everyone nervously nodded, afraid of how she would react if they refused.

"Well, it took me all night, but it's worth it, because this is one the greatest games I've ever made! Ladies and gentlemen… I present, banana sculpting!"

As everyone's mouths fell open, Zelda moved back, to reveal a small person, sculpted out of a banana. They had an oversized head so that they could have a goofy smile carved into it with a knife, as well as two tiny holes for eyes.

"Well, what do you think? Let's all have a go at it," Zelda said cheerily, while she took Link aside, saying, "Here Link, I saved one especially for you," handing him a banana.

Link awkwardly thanked Zelda, and everyone went to work trying to sculpt an image out of their banana. After a few minutes, Zelda called for everyone to stop as she wanted to inspect them. Walking straight past the other's bananas, she went straight to Link and said,

"So Link, what did you make?"

Link moved aside and Zelda let out a large gasp. Link had made a small model of himself and Zelda holding hands, somehow, using a single banana.

"Wow," said Samus, "He even used the peel for your and his hair!"

"Look, he used the bottom of the banana as the hilt on the Master Sword!"

"Link, this is awesome!"

"Is there anything you can't do?"

Everyone fell silent as their attention fell to Zelda, who had suddenly started gritting her teeth so loudly that everyone could hear it. For a second, Zelda looked like she'd calmed down, before she grabbed a rolling pin and violently smashed Link's creation into pieces, before turning around, letting out a banshee-like scream and attacking every banana she could find. Everyone else fled for their own safety, while Zelda appeared to be having a fit.

A few hours later, Ike woke up, later than everyone else. Slowly walking down to the kitchen to get some food, he found Link, Samus and Peach sitting outside the door, reluctant to let anyone in.

"What's going on here?" Ike asked, confused, only to get a more confusing answer.

"Don't go in, Zelda is attacking bananas," Samus replied.

"What? Don't be ridiculous!" Ike replied as he foolishly opened the door, only to see Zelda whacking a frying pan against a pile of bananas, yelling at the top of her lungs, "SCREAMING BANANAS ATE MY DOG!"

Ike quickly closed the door, breathing heavily, and slowly backed away to see if any of the other Smashers had any food.

Link sighed and held his head in his hands. "This is stupid. I think I should go and talk to her."

"Link, are you insane? She'll smash you like banana pulp!"

"I don't care, I love her, I need to at least try and calm her down!" replied Link boldly, opening the door and stepping inside. Zelda was covered from head to toe in banana and had now ditched the rolling pin and frying pan for her own mouth, which she was using to bite bananas in half, then violently spit them across the room and laugh psychotically.

Link slowly approached her, but then she noticed him.

"Oh, so it's you, the master banana sculptor! Come to embarrass me again, huh?"

Link grabbed a banana peel and slapped Zelda round the face with it, commanding, "Zelda, snap out of it!"

Zelda's face went back to normal for a second, before she burst into tears and flung herself around Link accidentally covering his tunic with banana pieces.

"I'm sorry Link, I was just trying to find something, anything that I was better than you at!"

Luckily Link was comforting.

"Aw, that's… sweet of you."

"Link, what's your secret? No matter what you try, you're always the best at it! What makes you so great at it all?"

Link thought for a second, before replying,

"Well… you!"

"Me?" Zelda responded, confused.

"Yeah, you! You're my inspiration! No matter what I'm doing, whether it's fighting, or trying a new sport, or… making shapes out of household fruit, I'm always trying to impress you! I… want you to be proud of me."

"Really? You do all that stuff… for me?"

"Of course I do," said Link, kissing Zelda on the lips quickly, "You're the best inspiration."

"Oh, thank you Link!" replied Zelda, hugging him tighter. Eventually, they stopped hugging and Link walked Zelda out of the kitchen and led her back to her room to get washed and sleep, stopping only once on the way to tell Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong that there were a lot of bananas there, needing to be cleaned up.

As Link helped Zelda to wipe banana pulp out of her hair and tuck her into bed, he heard her whispering softly,

"Thanks Link, you're the best…"

But just before she could fall asleep, he leaned forwards, kissed her on the forehead, and replied,

"No, you are."


End file.
